Have you ever watched Charlie Brown? Do you know how there's that one tree that consistently gets the kites

he tries to fly?

He keeps trying, but he still gets discouraged in the process.

And who can blame him? It's hard to fall short when trying to do something you

love consistently.

A few weekends ago, my family and I went to a kite festival here in Austin. It was a little rainy at

first, but there were still plenty of people. And once the clouds cleared out - holy moly, it

was packed!

A little after we got to the fair, we saw this big beautiful kite stuck in a giant tree.

I thought, "Oh man, that sucks."

But then I saw the two guys who were there flying it; They were working as a team with another rope

and hook-y thingie to get it out.

And they weren't discouraged at all. They seemed to be pretty darn comfortable with the

whole get-the-kite-unstuck process. They were laughing and chatting with the people who were

We were watching like it was no big deal

They didn't intend to fly their kite into a tree. Like we don't wake up in the morning and

say, "gee, I hope I screwed things up today."

But setbacks and failures are part of the bargain.

Watching those guys made me think. I'm a fan of accepting failure and bouncing back from it. But I

also know I still tend to get disappointed and beat myself up when I fail. And sometimes, it takes

me a bit to pick myself back up.

I got to wondering what I would need to do to be able to be so... well, jovial as those guys when I have a

setback.

(Granted, there's a difference between getting a kite stuck and blowing a significant project, but I

thought the answer would be helpful regardless.)

So what would it take?

Actually Welcome It

Maybe instead of just accepting failure, we can welcome it as part of the process. If

you're not failing, you're probably not aiming high enough. It's a minor semantic distinction but

creates a decisive shift in our subconscious.

Give this a go:

Say, "I failed. sigh It's ok. Failure happens, and that's ok. I accept it and will move on."

Meh. It's ok.

Now say, "Welcome failure! Thank you for bringing me one step closer to my success!"

Right?!? I know which one makes me feel better.

Create Your Toolkit

Another thing is making sure we have the tools we need to fix the situation if need be. Just like a kite-

flying guys had extra string and whatnot; we can ensure we have the support we need

while we get back on our feet. That looks like having a network of friends who get me and love

me, a comfy pair of fuzzy socks, and a cold beer in the fridge. 🙂

Base Your Worth (and Self-Confidence) on What Really Counts

And finally, maybe we need to stop taking ourselves so damn seriously.

Now I get it - some things ARE serious. Knowing how we're going to pay our rent, buy groceries, care

for our families, etc., are all things that a wardrobe of "don't sweat the small stuff" t-shirts aren't going to

make easier to handle.

But when it comes to the small stuff - the hurt pride, the embarrassment, the shame - maybe

we can ease off on those. I was listening to Lisa Nichols the other day, and she talked about how

fear and sadness are emotions like happiness and love. But they're the ones we stress over and hold

onto.

What if we could look at those personal judgments and emotions accompanying failure and just let

them go? We can remind ourselves that what we do doesn't necessarily equal Who We Are. No failure

or setback makes us less of a person or worthy.

Look, I've had my share of failure in life. Did I mention that I didn't even pass the physical fitness test to

get into West Point the first time? Out of the 30ish kids testing that day, I was the only one who failed.

Yeah. It was mortifying. And it's not like that was the first or last time it's happened.

And since you're human, chances are that you've had your share of setbacks, and (spoiler alert) you'll

probably have more in your future.

So I invite you to give these preemptive strategies a try. Think of it like a pre-game tailgate party

that sets you up for a faster bounce-back time and less mental and emotional stress along the

way.